GoFund Me Campaign and Update

Greeting all,

It has been such a long time since last I posted here. I’m grateful for all of you who continue to follow this blog after such a long absence. I started a GoFund Me campaign today in an effort to try to re-enter the work force. Go check it out if you get a minute:


Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let me try to catch you up. Please heed the trigger warning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~TRIGGER WARNING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I am continuing in weekly therapy and my therapist and I have noticed an interesting pattern. About a week or so before a major memory surfaces, I rage. My mood dramatically changes, I switch a lot more and I have zero fuse. There is this feeling of severe disdain not directly at any one thing or any one person – in short I get in a funk that I can’t seem to release. And just like clockwork, after about two weeks, another memory comes up that makes me want to run and hide again. I am currently in the beginning stages of yet another one of these memories as my mood has been funky for the past three days.  If I’m able mentally, I will post what comes up later this month. Here’s an example of one of the last doozies that came up.

It started about three years ago, I got this fleeting memory of something that looked pretty satanic. I didn’t mention it to my therapist for a long time because I didn’t want to go down that road. I didn’t want to think it might be true nor did I want to think I might have false memory syndrome (though I don’t know how I possibly could). Let me be very, very clear here before I say anything else – my therapist does not lead my therapy sessions. She doesn’t not use prompt words, does not put thoughts into my head, or try to lead me to conclusions. If I sit there the entire hour and don’t say a word; neither does she. She does not initiate thoughts or make suggestions; therefore, she would never be responsible for falso memories (or for creating new parts). Before I even mentioned this memory to her, I researched false memory syndrome and found that is just doesn’t apply. Now, I know that all memories have errors, but I had way too much detail in this memory for it to be made up. And I adored my father – ADORED HIM [hate him now] – but why would I make this up?!

The memory is this. I am around 4 years old. I am in a park of some kind with a few other children and a lot of adults. Initially, I am standing by my mother who is near some other mothers standing around worn looking picnic tables nestled between a couple of large trees. I remember peeling off a piece of the tree bark that was just hanging there and turning in a circle with it because it whistles when you do that and I liked the noise. My father is there, uncle Red and a couple of my father’s other friends. They are all in red robes. There is a camp fire made inside a small circle of stones. After a while, all the men go stand in a circle around this camp fire. My estimate is there are at least 15-20 men there. The robes are red, as I said, and the inside of the hood is gold OR the gold masks they are wearing are protruding into the inside of the hood making it look gold, I don’t know. These men start to chant. I don’t remember the words, but I do remember the rhythm of the words. They sway a little, too. I am trying to see inside the circle so I run around the circle trying to get someone to move their leg aside so I can get in. I tried to edge in right when they swayed left; edge in left when they swayed right. No one lets me in. They chant quicker. I eventually get in between my father and uncle Red and pull their robs aside. Something is rising out of the fire….

The memory cuts off at that moment. I finally got up the nerve to tell this to my therapist. She listened very intently, never said a word. When I was done, she said to me, do NOT go searching on the internet for more information. Let the memory unfold in its time. Don’t chase the memory, let it come to you. That’s it; that’s all she said. Well, of COURSE I went looking on the internet for red robed grown men….found nothing so I left it alone. Fast forward to mid year last year and the memory continued to unfold.

Yes, you guessed it, what I can only call a demon was coming out of the fire. It whipped its head around and looked directly at me! I remember the fear; my body remembers the fear…but no more of the memory. I honestly don’t know what to make of it family. Here are some things I do know and have received confirmation of: both my parents were involved in freemasonry. My father was a 33rd degree mason; my mother a member of the easter stars. I don’t know if this memory has anything to do with freemasonry at all. If any of you have any information about it, please let me know? I do have another memory where we returned to the same park for a similiar activity and I remember a folding sign that had a mason symbol on it. The symbol on the sign was in blue and gold and Looked sort of like the symbol here:


It has taken me over a year to even consider posting this memory here from sheer fear. The eyes of that demon continue to haunt me. I’ve lost tons of sleep because I can’t feel safe. How do I lock my doors and windows against a demon?! My therapist has suggested I intentionally dissociate this memory again because I simply can’t handle it. But my question to her is – if I can’t handle it, why did it come up? I thought you said…and she verified that yes she DID say; however, in my attempt to process it, I’m losing the plot and getting flooded which stresses me out, triggering the switching even more!

I am still struggling a whole lot with the whole incest thing, even though I know it happened, I can’t believe the family who was supposed to love and protect me was raping me and farming me out! To what end?! OMG! I’m a mother and I can’t even BEGIN to phathom how let along WHY any parent could do this to their own child! I keep wondering if I asked for it some how and the shame…the SHAME is the worse! So here I am trying to wrap my mind around the incest when these devil worshipping/masonic worshipping memories start coming up! I get scared, I get angry, I feel defeated. How much more could there be, Dear Lord!!! Give me STRENGTH!!! SIGH!!! Anyways, every week after therapy I. AM. EXHAUSTED. I sleep most of the next day and then all of the weekend. This is a process I understand, one I have to make in order to heal.

There’s your update for now. If this latest memory surfaces before the end of the month, I’ll try hard to post it here for your review and feedback. If any of you know or have experienced anything with abuse and the masons please let me know? This is some wide stuff I know, but I need verification if you have it.


Long Time No….

Hello all. I know its been a while since I posted to this blog. So much has happened while so little has changed. I’m still plural, I still switch on a daily basis, but I’m learning to deal. The good news is I am regaining my ability to concentrate slowly – it truly is hit or miss, but I see some improvements with that albeit minimal.

So, let me catch everyone up? 🙂

Well the latest is I got locked down on a 5150 hold just last month. There was yet another incident of self harm (cutting) and we were not able to keep the cuts hidden from our biological daughter. She had the expected reaction – anger and disgust. She even yelled at me about how I was trying to take her mother away. Interesting that at that moment, she seemed to forget about the DID. I still get frustrated with the others and how I end up dealing with the ramifications of their actions. It wasn’t the person who cut who ended up in the emergency room. Nor was it the person who cut who spent the time on lock down. It was me. I spent 8 days in a mental ward filled to the max with mostly bi-polar 1 and/or schizophrenic patients. Most had tried to commit suicide and failed. The only thing I could do really is just laugh at the situation. I am neither bi-polar nor schizophrenic, so I really just had to ‘play the game and say the right things’ so the medical professionals would let me out of there. Just typing it now is ticking me off. Do any of you deal with taking responsibility and dealing with the fall out for the actions of the others alters?

[ASIDE – In case you don’t know what a 5150 is, here’s a pretty good explanation from Wikipedia]:

“Section 5150 is a section of the California Welfare and Institutions

Code (specifically, the Lanterman–Petris–Short Act or “LPS”) which

allows a qualified officer or clinician to involuntarily confine a

person deemed to have a mental disorder that makes them a danger to

him or her self, and/or others and/or gravely disabled. A qualified

officer, which includes any California peace officer or paramedic, as

well as any specifically designated county clinician, can request the

confinement after signing a written declaration. When used as a term,

5150 (pronounced “fifty-one-fifty”) can informally refer to the person

being confined or to the declaration itself, or colloquially as a verb,

as in ‘Someone was 5150’d’.”


Most of the in-patients went on to the intensive out-patient program of the hospital. It goes from 9am until 3pm. Can you imagine having to be in group 6 hours a day, 5 days a week? I’ll pass, thanks.

It has been now over 3 years since my DID diagnosis and I still – STILL have moments when I have doubt that we are plural. I simply don’t want it to be true. Plus I don’t want to have to do the hard, hard work that is required to at the least get us all working congruently. We can’t even think about considering integration because we feel so strongly that to do so would kill most of us. And that’s just too much for us.

It is so good to see all of you here again. We’ll speak again soon.


~by: Jess Mei

Clarification and Answering a Question from a Reader

Greetings Faithful Readers and Survivors!

This is an attempt to clarify a post about tips to avoid cutting posted back a while ago in 2009. I’ve decided to include the Reader’s comments and questions below along with my response. Thanks Sylvan for your question!


I have a very close and dear friend that is like family who cuts themselves. I really need help with this. I agree with what you posted but I really can’t agree that I should just leave her alone and not try to stop her from continuing this lifestyle , please help me. how i it you overcame your addiction please tell me I desperately need someone’s help. How is it you overcame this addition?



Thank you for leaving your concerns for your friend and for disagreeing with my advice. It allows me to clarify what I meant. I hope I will be able to be clearer and be able to help you help your friend all at the same time. Let’s keep talking until we get there, okay?

Now, with that said, I’d like say that what I suggested was not to leave the person alone, but to leave their cutting tool alone. I have to reiterate that as a cutter, we are NOT trying to commit suicide. We KNOW how to kill ourselves and cutting absolutely is NOT about suicide. What I warn against is hiding or removing the cutting tool of choice. That forces us to use an instrument we may not be familiar with and we might end up cutting deeper than intended and doing some serious injury. We cut to release tension, to have an internal ‘scream’…to take the edge off – nothing more (at least for me). Some teens, I suspect, cut to get attention and that’s just sad.

As a friend, you can support your friend by making sure she cuts safely in a safe and supportive environment…even if you don’t support her actions, you can still support her, right? I also want you to know you simply cannot ‘love’ her out of this addiction, she needs to understand what she’s trying to get out by cutting. Yes, it feels good, but is she holding back comments or feelings she feels aren’t safe to express? What pain is she burying deeper with each cut she makes? Encourage her to get professional help with the real reason beneath the cutting. She will have to come to terms with whatever that ‘thing’ is or she will continue to cut.

And also let me say I have NOT overcome this addiction. Every time I get overly stressed or am overcome with feelings of helplessness, I battle the Urge to cut. I try to wait for the Urge to pass, I’ll try one of my 10 tips (my favorite is writing on my arm with a red marker), I’ll deep breath, etc. If none of that works, I make sure I cut only until I feel some relief. Sometimes, I can get away with a little, sometimes it is much more. But then I do a ‘reality check’ and ask myself what brought on the Urge and I journal it and address it with my therapist. So, you see – I’m not cured by any means, I’m just learning to deal with it a little better.

Tips on What to do After Someone You Love Has Cut

~By: Jess Mei

After my latest episode with cutting, I realize that most ‘common folk’ are just not equipped to know what to do, or even how to react to self-harming. I think it is interesting how some people act like they are actually offended when we self-harm. Like ‘how could we put them in that situation’. I do try to look at other people’s points-of-views, so I thought I’d try to give some pointers for loved ones of self-harmers. Please pardon me if I come off sounding like I have an ‘us’ versus ‘everyone else’ mentality. But unless you are a self-harmer – I really don’t think you can understand. This is just generalized advice. First, let me see if I can shed some light on the ‘why’ of it.

1. It’s not about you…its not about us, and its not about suicide, either.
Outsiders need to understand that self-harm doesn’t have anything to do with them…that’s why it is called ‘self’ harm. Most times it isn’t even about us, the self-harmers. Sometimes it is about the pain; sometimes it is about the blood. Sometimes we self-harm to heal another part of ourselves. But it is almost never about suicide. We’re not trying to kill ourselves. Trust me – we already know exactly how to do that. Self-harm isn’t about suicide…even when we’re suicidal.

2. Self-harm is full of symbolism and ritual.

The scarring, the blood, the act of self-harm it self is extremely symbolic for us. Sometimes we’ll even write poetry about it. For me, this symbolism has nothing to do with Satan, God, or anything like that. For example, once I’ve used a particular razor to cut, I’ll cut with it until I feel ‘okay’ again, then I’ll discard that razor. I don’t want to even touch it again. It has served its purpose. Now, that doesn’t stop me from going and getting another one (I purchased a 100 pack of blades) – but I don’t because that self-harming episode is over and I feel okay again.

3. Self-harm usually occurs when we are under a lot of stress and are frustrated.
Sometimes we cut because we want to express frustration but don’t want to express it verbally. The cuts then become like little screams, a way to yell, let out that ‘pressure’, and not have to confront the source of the stress and/or frustration. Sometimes we cut when we feel like we’re not being heard or understood. Whatever the reasons, the underlying cause is a great deal of stress and/or frustration.

Okay, so knowing all this, you as the bystander are supposed to do what exactly?


      • Don’t look at us like we’re crazy. This is an addiction and coping mechanism…just like smoking.
      • Don’t jump to conclusions and assume that we’re trying to kill ourselves. Dying a death of a thousand cuts isn’t something we’re interested in.
      • Don’t panic and try to remove our instruments of choice. That makes us feel like a child and when the next time comes up, we’ll find something else to self-harm with. And because we would be self-harming with something less familiar, we risk potential fatal injury.
      • If we want to talk about it, please – please just listen. Don’t try to fix anything.
      • If possible, help to keep the stress levels down.
      • Keep a medical first aid kit handy. Be prepared to take us to the emergency room if the cuts need stitches and be willing to fight with us for humane treatment at the hospital.
      • Don’t crowd…give us some space to regroup.
      • If we have DID, know that this cutting episode may be triggering or may have been a reaction to a trigger.
      • If you see us wearing long-sleeved clothing in the middle of summer, don’t make a big deal about it. More than likely, we are trying to hide our scars.
      • Don’t help us if we don’t ask for it.

      Basically, the best action to take is to just ‘be’ there…follow our lead. We usually find our voices after the self-harm and are able to articulate clearly how we will need your assistance and support.

      I’m in Crisis

      ~By: Jess Mei

      For anyone out there who has been following this blog-I am in crisis. My housemate is tired of me living off her (I don’t have a job or a place to live), my ex and I are still fighting and it was bad…really, really bad – and I need to cut. But I want to cut for good this time. I want to take some pills and cut, cut, cut until I can’t bring my hand up to cut anymore. I have 2 kids who hate me because I left the family home, a mother who hates me because I breath and just happen to look like my father, and I hate myself. There’s a dog here to hug, but I don’t like him, knitting won’t do. I really need some help. I don’t have a therapist, no medical insurance, no life. I’m tired. I’m scared and I hurt so much. You’d think I’d be too old for this, but pain is pain. If you’re still young, please get help – don’t be my age still dealing with this. Help me somebody. God isn’t even here for me now. I have no one – nothing. HELP ME!!!

      Different Types of Dissociative Disorders

      ~By: Jess Mei

      First – let me say that I’m no expert. I’m just one woman who went searching for answers to this ‘thing’ that has both saved my life and changed it so profoundly.

      There is a term for the progression of dissociation called the Dissociative Continuum. The presence of this continuum is now widely accepted by those psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers who are familiar with dissociative states. Let’s take a look at this together. I will present them from least to greatest – in terms of the dissociation only. In no way am I minimizing the impact of any of the disorders.

      I. Psycogenic Amnesia
      [Definition]: A sudden inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to merely explain away by normal forgetfulness and is not associated with an organic mental disorder (like Alzheimers Disease).

      There are 4 classifications psychogenic amnesia:

      1. Localized – where all memory is loss that occurred in a specific period of time
      2. Selective – where some, but not all memory is loss of events that occurred during a specific period of time
      3. Generalized – where memory of important events that occurred over the course of life is loss
      4. Continuous – where all memory is loss for the entire past and the memory loss continues into the present

      Psychogenic Amnesia is the most common form of dissociative disorders and appears to be caused by either blunt trauma to the head or as response to an immediate traumatic event.

      II. Psychogenic Fugue
      [Definition]: A sudden act of traveling far away from home or place of work, and having no recall of doing so or why. Many assume a new identity or personality trait completely uncharacteristic of the ‘norm’.

      Research has shown that this new identity is usual really ‘free-loving’ and less inhabited than the ‘normal’ identity. This dissociative disorder does not include those moments when we all drive from point A to point B without recalling the road or things around us. Those occurrence fit better in the Psycogenic Amnesia category. It appears that people who suffer from psychogenic fugue states have no memory of the actions and experiences done while the ‘free-loving’ personality is present.

      III. Depersonalization Disorder
      [Definition]: The chronic experience of a profound loss of sense of self, of feeling unreal – as if in a dream. The experience of feeling like your are completely outside of yourself.

      People who have depersonalization disorder have memories that feel like dreams that sometimes cannot be recognized as real versus fantasy. They can easily tell themselves that certain real life experiences didn’t happen because they [the memories] feel like dreams. Because of the ability of the person who has depersonalization disorder to mentally step outside of self, past memories can be seen as occurring to someone else. The onset of this disorder is abrupt; however recover can be very slow.

      IV. Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS)
      [Definition]: This is a bit of a ‘catch all’ category for any dissociative behavior that doesn’t fit solidly in the definition of the other categories. There is still marked dysfunction in memory, identity and consciousness.

      I’ve had the opportunity to speak with someone who has DDNOS and she says that for her, she doesn’t hear the internal conversations and she retains co-consciousness for much of the time with no distinctive personality taking full control of the body at any time.




      V. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (formally known as Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD))
      [Definition]: The presence of at least two distinct personalities within the body of one person.

      People with DID typically display symptoms of other categories of dissociation. People tell of loss time, amnesia, profound feelings of being outside of self, and hearing internal dialogs that are not those of the primary identity. DID is a chronic, but allegedly treatable disorder. This dissociative disorder holds the most societal stigma than any of the others and if often mistaken for Schizophrenia – a disorder that can be controlled with drug therapy.

      From everything that I have read thus far, there are no medications specific to treating DID. Drugs are given to assist with symptoms of things like insomnia, depression, and anxiety; however these drugs cannot address the disorder itself.

      In my next post, I will speak about various forms of trauma that cause dissociative disorders. Until then, friends.

      Tips for Significant Others of Multiples

      It has been over a year since I posted this and I felt it needed 1 more tip added. So I have updated this post with Tip #10 – There will be Destruction.

      ~By: Jess Mei

      Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder – or any dissociative disorder for that matter – can be HELL! I can only imagine what it must be like for those of you who live with us. Our actions are difficult to understand on the best of days and some times infuriating on other days (I know). For some of you, you’ve been living with a multiple for years and years and still haven’t recognized the signs of it – or been introduced to the multiple’s alters. I want to present you with some tips for living with your DID loved one in hopes that these tips might help you to navigate your way through the turbulent storm of DID.

      1. Don’t take it personal.
      I set this one as #1 for a reason – you really cannot take what a multiple may say or do personally. I know this is easier said than done, but please try. You have to understand that while the body may be a certain age, we have young children, babies, inanimate objects, seniors, bee-bop young adults, and teenagers inside of us, and these alters can and do come out and control the body at times. Not all of these alters are pleasant – in fact some are downright mean and destructive. So sometimes you, as the significant other, will get targeted by these alters. I have one who hates everything and everyone and deeply resents the fact that anyone would or could love me.

      2. Alters can and do mimic each other.
      I’m not sure why this is – but it happens. I’d imagine it is just a game for the alter…to see if she/he can ‘fool’ the SO (significant other) or those that are around. Get to know some tell-tell indicators for the alters, so that no matter how much they joke around, you’ll know with whom you’re dealing with.

      3. Be vigilant of reckless behavior.
      Some people with DID will engage in fast, reckless driving, over-indulgence in alcohol or recreational drugs, gambling, and other general risky behavior. It isn’t that we necessarily think we are invincible, it is generally because we simply don’t care. Or one (or more) alters in control of the body at the time don’t care. I must also say that more than 1 alter can not only behave this way, but also develop addictions because of it. Imagine trying to quit smoking when more than 1 of you is addicted to nicotine. I mean, how do you know if the others want to quit? My SO has alters who come out, smoke his cigarette, then leave. He still wants to have a cigarette himself, so he lights up again. Can you see the difficulty in this?

      4. People with DID LOVE to play mind games.
      We tend to be extremely secretive and are generally distrusting of others. This is a fact that has nothing at all to do with love or the foundation on which the SO relationship is built upon. We will ‘try’ the SO and will most often test your love and commitment to us. This is primarily where the mind games come in, but not always. We absolutely HATE to be manipulated and recognize it quickly and will sometimes turn the tables on the manipulator so that they become the manipulated.

      5. Be patient when it comes to making love.
      Sometimes we act ‘weird’ with sex and we don’t even know why. Sometimes we get triggered (it could be a smell, a touch, a position, a ‘look’ in the eyes of the SO – anything) and off we go to whatever memory of a past event that got triggered. We might be able to work through it then and there, but sometimes, it might take days, weeks, months (or more) for us to recover. 1 step forward, 20 steps back – but as long as you don’t give up on us, I think we’ll make it.

      6. We need PLENTY of alone time.
      So, don’t get upset when we take it. If you think about it, we could literally be on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific and not truly be ‘alone’. There is an entire group of us there in the 1 system, talking, screaming, crying, and watching. Some people in every day life come home and turn on the TV because they need the background noise. I stay at home all day without one on because I don’t want to add anymore to the chaos already going on inside the system.

      7. Sometimes, people with DID come off as indecisive.
      Most times, we’re not really. We’re just trying to get a consensus from more than 1 person inside the system. This indecisiveness shows up for me most when deciding about where to eat and what to eat. As the host personality, I tend to mediate most times within the system, but this isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagine. YOU try getting more than 3 people to agree on any 1 thing! As the SO, please allow us to change our minds without reprimand and know that in general, we want to please those around us, especially our SO – and when you reprimand us, it hurts so deeply. And please don’t take our ability to choose away.



      8. We Lie – A LOT.
      I don’t know if this is rolled into our need for mind games, secrecy or what, but we lie, omit the truth, stretch the truth, hide the truth, make stuff up – whatever you want to call it – we do more than our share of it. I honestly can’t even remember all the lies I’ve told or why I told them. Was it to make myself more interesting? Was it to keep someone out of our business? I do remember lying a few times because I couldn’t remember doing what I was accused of having done. I have also lied and said I recognized someone who clearly knew ‘me’, when I didn’t. We hide; we lie. And as the SO – just know this going into a conversation that a DID person may (or may not) be completely forthcoming might be helpful to you. Sometimes, alters come out, drop the lie and leave whoever is out to deal with the fallout. This can be extremely frustrating for everyone concerned. I have personally stood by, watched the body’s mouth moving, heard the words coming out, knew what was said were lies and couldn’t stop it from happening. I got depressed knowing that eventually, I’d have to come out and try to untangle things.

      9. Sometimes – we cheat.
      And I don’t mean ‘lust in our hearts’ cheat, either. This is closely related to the reckless behavior point made earlier. We engage in on-line affairs and real life affairs. Sometimes it is more than one alter engaging in this sorted behavior as well. As the SO, I advise you to please be vigilant. If it looks like a duck, it probably is one…maybe even two or three. Even if the person you married would NEVER do something like cheat – bear in mind that she/he isn’t the only one in the system. There are oft times alters of both genders within the system who don’t have the same value system as your beloved. She/He may not even be consciously aware of what has occurred. Which brings me back to point #1 – please don’t take it personal. If you’re willing to work through these issues and stand by us, we will too.

      10. There Will be Destruction.

      After having continued to live with DID for over a year since I posted this, I simply had to add this final tip about destruction. You can well imagine the psychological destruction this disorder causes for those around their DID loved one. From personal experience, there is so much more destruction than that.

      We have all sorts of triggers that may send us straight to lashing out, self-injury or worse, suicide/suicide attempts.  As the SO, you have probably already met a few angry, mean-spirited, hateful, just generally bent-on-destruction alters. Those alters are holding one or more parts of a terrible memory and maybe getting flooded. Flooding will cause us to act out either outwardly (hurt the SO or someone else around) or inwardly (cutting, anorexia/bulimia, or any other self-harm practice). Destruction will reign supreme if we are under a lot of stress.

      Please keep in mind, SO – because of the past trauma, we are pretty much always in flight, fight or freeze mode which keeps us tense and watchful at all times. We feel we need to be ready to either run, fight or internalize all the time. Day after day, we generally already feel like we’re backed into a corner and someone is poking us with a stick. Enough agitation and we will strike out. When we strike out, we go for the kill – whether it be a verbal, physical or psychological confrontation.You as the SO must understand this. We will do anything, anything to protect ourselves from any type of harm. This even goes for when we self-harm; there is always at least one insider that tries to stop the self-injuring. That person may not win, though.

      We always play for keeps.

      Understand that there will be destruction when you are mated/partnered to someone with DID. If you’re not strong, fully self-confident and thick-skinned – you should back away from the DID person and move quickly away. Until the system has some long-standing consistency of order, the entire relationship will be baffling and frustrating. If you are already involved with a multiple or feel you wouldn’t mind if the person were DID, please re-read these tips and get ready for an extremely bumpy, though sometimes rewarding, chaotic ride.  Godspeed!

      I hope these tips have given you, the Significant Other, some insight into our world. If you’d like to add another tip – please do so in the comments and I’ll incorporate it into the blog.